Originally Posted: Friday, May 30, 2014
So my Tinder strategy involves rapidly right swiping everyone without even looking and then filtering out the ugs who I end up matching with. If I’m bored enough, I’ll message them instead of blocking them. Here’s an excerpt from a conversation I had with one:
Art (11:15am): Yo guess what
Elizabeth (11:15am): Chicken butt?
A (11:16 am): Fuck
E (11:17 am): Now?
A (11:19 am): No I’m at work doing important Facebook and YouTube things
E (11:20 am): Wow, aren’t you productive..
A (11:22 am): Makes time fly I don’t give a ahit
E (11:22 am): What do you do?
A (11:22 am): Investment firm
E (11:29 am): Sounds like a blast..
A (11:30 am): We eat soup and watch golf all day its aite
E (11:44 am): So is that how you want to spend your life?A (11:57 am): I’d likebto spend it with u babe winkyface
E (44m ago): Lol nice line but you may want to try harder than that..
A (42m ago): Anything 4 u bb gurl
E (41 m ago): Uh huh sure..
A (38 m ago): Have my abortion bb gurl
E (37 m ago): Excuse me? There will be none of that. There are no babies in my near future.
A (35 m ago): Ya because they will be in a glass jar or w.e they put aborted kiddosE (35m ago): See no. I’m outfitted with this lovely thing that inhibits me from getting preggo in the first place.
A (35m ago): A butt
E (33m ago): No an IUD dumbass. My butt is a hard limit.
A (23 m ago): Soft limit
E (22 m ago): No my butt is one way hole.
A (21 m ago): Ur in 4 a shock(lol) when u turn 40 and go for a chexkup
E (20 m ago): I’ve already had two colonoscipies and two endoscopies. I know the drill.
A (12 m ago): Oh shitA( 12m ago): U know how girls decorate their grad caps
A (12 m ago): So u decorat ur poobag
E (7 m ago): Nah mine’s probably gonna be a quote or plain.
This went on for a while until I got bored. It baffles me why a woman would bother to reply to someone acting like that, but I’m glad that they do.